Team Selection for Gert Bowl

The changing room was crowded.  More so than usual as the hulking form of the team’s Troll, Rock Goblin-Eater, had forced his way into the room.  The coach had called a team meeting to discuss the team selection for the next tournament in Brizzle.  He came in through the door and silenced the room with a glare from his one good eye.  When the boys were finally quiet, bar the occasional snap of a goblin bone as Rock chewed his breakfast, the coach stepped to one side and the recognisable figure of Varag Ghoul-Chewer strode into the room.

“Youse all know Varag”, said the coach, “it goes without sayin’ that he’s a star round ‘ere, a super star, and he’s kindly pulled on the red and white a few times dis season to help us out.”  He paused before continuing, “We’ze had a few tournies that haven’t gone well but the last one, with Varag on board, was a spectacular success! If it hadn’t been for da Oomie scum and doze bluddy Elfs we could have won it!”  A great roar rose up from the team and a multitude of fists punched the air.  Some punched their team mates and a scuffle broke out as the boys piled into the fun.  Varag strode into the middle of it and started banging heads together until once again there was silence.  “Saves yourselves for da game!” shouted the coach, “I’ze don’t want no injuries now, I’m gonna need you all fit and healthy for dis Brizzle bash”.  “Right, where wuz I…….Yes! we nearly won but we didn’t.  Better dun dat though, we caused da most injuries and dere’s nuffin we'ze like more than 'urting people.  So, the aim for Brizzle is to try and cause more Injuries!”.  

The coach held his hands in the air and waited for the hubbub to become more subdued.  “So, I’ze picked a team that’s designed to intimidate and annihilate, it won’t be pretty but I don’t want pretty, leave dat to da Elves, I want to smash stuff!”

 Da Coach gives his team talk

He took a piece of paper from his pocket and looked it over.  “I’ze been through dis with Varag, and ‘ere’s where we is:  Ulgan, Da Wall, Slaug & Krank.  All 4 of you Black Orcs is on da bus.  Borgor, Vork, Kruugash and Rurk. All 4 of you Blizers is on da bus too.  To lend more strength to the line, Rock…..Rock…..ROCK! you useless  Troll – youse better pay attention on the pitch, son – You is on da bus as well.  That leaves space for 2 more.  Kruug and Lugash, you Linos is da last of da team.  Everyone else….get out!”

The 11 players left in the room looked at each other with a smile on the lips.  This was a bold move by the coach but that’s why he got paid the big money.  It was going to be tough but with Varag on the team as well it was a formidable lineup.  In all, 5 ST4 players, 1 ST5 and all players AV9.  5 Players starting with Block and no doubt more would learn how to before the game.  Sure, there was only the one team reroll, sure there was no Sure Hands in the team as Osgar, the Thrower, hadn’t made the cut, sure they would be light on skills if the coach made one of them into a Leader but not one Orc there cared.  They were Orcs and they were born to fight!  The fans would love it – 

Da mob, dey came for blood, da mob, dey came for gore!
 

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