Welsh Open 2015

The first tournament for the Gouged Eye is rapidly approaching with Welsh Open in Newport on 30th Janaury - 1st February 2015.  Team training is going well and the revamped franchise is looking forward to finally getting out the pitch.  Barring any injuries during training, the initial team sheet is as follows:

#1 - Troll - Rock Goblin-Eater.  It's debatable at the moment if Rock will actually make the team or one of the other, less hungry Trolls makes the journey instead.  Rock likes to live up to his surname and during the off season has devoured his way through 37 Goblins.  It would have been more but after eating 6 in 1 half hour session the head coach implemented a strict muzzle policy which curtailed Rock's eating habits somewhat.  It's best not to mention the unfortunate Goblin who was pushed through the mesh of the muzzle at the end of training that day.  The image of mince Goblin is one that's difficult to forget.

#66, #67, #68 & #69 - Black Orc Blockers.  The remaining bricks in the intimidating wall of muscle are the team's four Black Orcs.  #66, Wartnob 'Da Wall' Badfang is a brute even by Black Orc Standards and many opponents have found out that it really hurts when you run into the Wall.  He may be the star of the front line but he's ably backed up by Slaugh Axe-Cutter, Ulgan Blacktoof and Krank Elf-Splitter.  When the whistle blows the Fearsome Four start throwing fists and it's a brave or stupid man who tries to get them to stop.

#70, #71, #72, #73 - Blitzers.  The Troll and the Black Orcs might be the real muscle of the team but the stars are the Blitzers.  Fast(ish), Strong and incredibly vicious, it's their job to harry the opposition and put them on the floor where they can be more easily stamped on.  Foremost among the team is Borgor Ghoul-Chewer.  Grandson of the famous  Varag Ghoul-Chewer he's had a lot to live up to on this team and is yet to disappoint.  The other three, Vork Wormhole, Kruugash Neck-Snapper and Rurk Rock-Breaker, all provide support where it's needed and have formed a strong unit at the heart of the Eye's Offence/Defence.

#00 - Thrower - Osgar 'Uh-Oh' Snotchucker. Osgar is the safe pair of hand that's usually carrying the ball for the Eye.  He's quick. agile and able to get himself out of trouble easily.  He does have a tendency to get a bit carried away with it all and his failed attempts at launching the ball down-field have become something of a trademark.

#30 - Lineorc - Kruug Mudlurk.  The lone Lineorc in the team at the moment.  Kruug knows his role and that role usually involves standing in front of the biggest and strongest opposition player on the pitch and getting hit....a lot....  He's getting used to this and has taken that many blows recently that he now barely feels them.  True, he often forgets where he is, what he's doing and what his name is but point him in the direction of an Ogre or Minotaur and he'll trot off to mark them without a second thought.  You can't ask for more.

#10 - Goblin - Syd Puddefoot. Syd is small, weak, and cowardly.  Where he makes up for this is that he is also Sneaky, dirty and vicious in the extreme.  he might not want to be the one who starts a fight but he'll sure as hell be the one who puts the boot in at the end.  Many a player has gone down on the field after a heavy left hook from Da Wall, hoping to find a moments respite, and then finding that there's a nasty Goblin sat on their chest, punching them between the legs. He bites, he scratches, he kicks and he will never, ever, fight fair.  He's the perfect Goblin and in a squeeze, if they can catch him, he can be thrown down the pitch by Rock to grab a TD.

That's it for now, the line-up may be tweaked a bit before the big game but that's basically it.  Now, here's a shot of the whole squad, with a couple of star players who popped down for the occassion, standing on the Astrogranite of the newly refurbished Doom Dome.

The Front Line

The front line of the Gouged Eye is an impressive wall of muscle that causes problems for any team who face it.  Very few teams have the physical advantage to be able to move it out of the way which means they either run away, which only makes the Black Orcs angry, or they run very, very far away which makes the Black Orcs even more angry.  Either way, opposition linemen find they can't win and when the green machine finally catches up with them they often wish they had stood their ground and taken their knocks early.

Anchored in the middle by the Troll, Rock Goblin-Eater, and flanked with two hulking, Black Orc Blockers either side of him, it's a terrifying sight and it's not unusual for teams who see them warming up on the astrogranite to refuse to leave the changing rooms.  The Orc coaching staff are prepared for such eventualities and will release the team mascot, Gouger, into the visiting team's dressing room to chase them out onto the pitch.

The front line:

Gouger and his handler, the Assistant Coach Badgut 'The Whip' Mugthug

Team Photo.

The overseas training camp is almost at an end and the first team photo is in. Looks like they've been working hard and are ready to go. Individual player photos will appear on future bio's

The Doom Dome

The team is still away on their training camp but we're expecting them back any day now.  In the meantime the work on the home stadium, the Doom Dome, has been almost finished and it's looking pretty good.

Cant wait to see them run out on this.

Back in the Game

Digging around I noticed that the last time I posted anything in this blog was almost 2 years ago.  2 whole years!  I couldn't believe it at first but then I remembered that I'm an inherently lazy person and keeping something like a blog updated is beyond my capacity.  I was defeated by my own ennui.  Well, that has to change and it changes now.  I might not post every day, even every week, hell, it might not be every month but I will post and it's starting today.

I recently put together a collection of old Games Workshop 3rd edition Orc models for Blood Bowl.  I found a painter willing to take on the commission and before the end of the year it will be my great pleasure to couch the famous Orc team, the Gouged Eye, in future tournaments.  I have to say, from what I've seen of the work in progress on the models they are going to look great, I mean really good.  I can't wait to get them all back but I've made life difficult for the  poor guy painting them by asking for the bases to be changed......after he had based them.  I originally asked for grass on the bases but now I need them done as Astrogranite.  The Gouged eye home stadium is the Doom Dome and the playing surface there is Astrogranite so it made sense.  Hopefully it'll work out but I should know for sure in a day or so.  I've even ordered a custom pitch from FF Fields for the team to play on.  Again, I've been difficult and changed my mind a few times on what I want but I've firmed things up now and I'm confident that it will all look good.

When I get the team back I shall do a bio for each player on the team including a photo for each individual.  TO get things started I've looked at the teams Thrower.  His photo will be added once he's back from pre season training but in the meantime here's a little bit about him.

Osgar grew up supporting the Gouged Eye and his father would often take him to the Doom Dome to see the team play.  He was enthralled with the game and from an early age had set his sights on one day running out in the famous red & white onto the hallowed Astrogranite.  As he grew it became apparent that, unlike his contemporaries, he was never going to be a big and burly Orc.  His slender frame was more suited to speed than power and he quickly realised that he would never be a blitzer like his hero Varag Ghoul-Chewer.  He reasoned that life up front on the line of scrimmage would be a very short life indeed and so a career as a thrower was the only thing left. 

During his time at The Academy, the training grounds for the Gouged Eye, his speed and agility made him stand out even amongst the other trainee throwers.  He would regularly leave opposition players stranded as he jinked and dived his way across the pitch, sheltering behind the hulking Black Orcs when in danger before popping out of cover to launch a pass down-field to a waiting blitzer.  Unfortunately, this was the point at which Osgar revealed the one short-coming of his game – he couldn't throw a ball for toffee.  There’s an unwritten rule amongst the Orc teams of the Blood Bowl circuit and that is “If youze throwin' da ball, youze already in bovver”.  The reason Orc teams don’t throw the ball much is that they’re not very good at it.  Osgar was no exception and fumbled passes became as much of a trademark as his flashing sprints.  Despite this, the team coaches reasoned that he wasn't really any worse than the others when it came to making a pass and he was so swift that he deserved a place on the team.

After several seasons at the heart of the Gouged Eye offence, Osgar has developed a reputation for scintillating runs that get the crowds on their feet and has ensured that attendances at the Doom Dome have risen each year that he’s played.  Deep down though, Osgar yearns to throw the ball; to see it spiral through the air as the crowd hold their breath and wait for the catch that will surely lead to a score.  This has meant that on many, many occasions, the ball has been lost to the opposition who, although surprised to suddenly find themselves with a scoring opportunity, have gratefully received the gift and usually gone on to the win the game.  This has led to the fans of the Gouged Eye (semi) affectionately nicknaming Osgar “Uh-Oh” in recognition of the collective groan that rises from the stands whenever they see him take the familiar throwing stance.  With a typically Orcish sense of humour, primarily designed to help boost shirt sales – they might be Orcs but they’re not totally stupid – the team management have awarded Osgar the squad number 00.

Well, that's enough for tonight, I shall break myself back in gently, but rest assured that there will be more to follow.