Wednesday 3 December 2014

Welsh Open 2015

The first tournament for the Gouged Eye is rapidly approaching with Welsh Open in Newport on 30th Janaury - 1st February 2015.  Team training is going well and the revamped franchise is looking forward to finally getting out the pitch.  Barring any injuries during training, the initial team sheet is as follows:

#1 - Troll - Rock Goblin-Eater.  It's debatable at the moment if Rock will actually make the team or one of the other, less hungry Trolls makes the journey instead.  Rock likes to live up to his surname and during the off season has devoured his way through 37 Goblins.  It would have been more but after eating 6 in 1 half hour session the head coach implemented a strict muzzle policy which curtailed Rock's eating habits somewhat.  It's best not to mention the unfortunate Goblin who was pushed through the mesh of the muzzle at the end of training that day.  The image of mince Goblin is one that's difficult to forget.

#66, #67, #68 & #69 - Black Orc Blockers.  The remaining bricks in the intimidating wall of muscle are the team's four Black Orcs.  #66, Wartnob 'Da Wall' Badfang is a brute even by Black Orc Standards and many opponents have found out that it really hurts when you run into the Wall.  He may be the star of the front line but he's ably backed up by Slaugh Axe-Cutter, Ulgan Blacktoof and Krank Elf-Splitter.  When the whistle blows the Fearsome Four start throwing fists and it's a brave or stupid man who tries to get them to stop.

#70, #71, #72, #73 - Blitzers.  The Troll and the Black Orcs might be the real muscle of the team but the stars are the Blitzers.  Fast(ish), Strong and incredibly vicious, it's their job to harry the opposition and put them on the floor where they can be more easily stamped on.  Foremost among the team is Borgor Ghoul-Chewer.  Grandson of the famous  Varag Ghoul-Chewer he's had a lot to live up to on this team and is yet to disappoint.  The other three, Vork Wormhole, Kruugash Neck-Snapper and Rurk Rock-Breaker, all provide support where it's needed and have formed a strong unit at the heart of the Eye's Offence/Defence.

#00 - Thrower - Osgar 'Uh-Oh' Snotchucker. Osgar is the safe pair of hand that's usually carrying the ball for the Eye.  He's quick. agile and able to get himself out of trouble easily.  He does have a tendency to get a bit carried away with it all and his failed attempts at launching the ball down-field have become something of a trademark.

#30 - Lineorc - Kruug Mudlurk.  The lone Lineorc in the team at the moment.  Kruug knows his role and that role usually involves standing in front of the biggest and strongest opposition player on the pitch and getting hit....a lot....  He's getting used to this and has taken that many blows recently that he now barely feels them.  True, he often forgets where he is, what he's doing and what his name is but point him in the direction of an Ogre or Minotaur and he'll trot off to mark them without a second thought.  You can't ask for more.

#10 - Goblin - Syd Puddefoot. Syd is small, weak, and cowardly.  Where he makes up for this is that he is also Sneaky, dirty and vicious in the extreme.  he might not want to be the one who starts a fight but he'll sure as hell be the one who puts the boot in at the end.  Many a player has gone down on the field after a heavy left hook from Da Wall, hoping to find a moments respite, and then finding that there's a nasty Goblin sat on their chest, punching them between the legs. He bites, he scratches, he kicks and he will never, ever, fight fair.  He's the perfect Goblin and in a squeeze, if they can catch him, he can be thrown down the pitch by Rock to grab a TD.

That's it for now, the line-up may be tweaked a bit before the big game but that's basically it.  Now, here's a shot of the whole squad, with a couple of star players who popped down for the occassion, standing on the Astrogranite of the newly refurbished Doom Dome.