It's All About That Skill, No Hitting 1 - 1 Gouged Eye

Krank Elf-Splitter paced the floor of the dressing room, muttering to himself and occasionally punching his fist into the wall.  A number of holes and fractured plaster testament to the big Orcs anger.  "Sit yer self down, Krank!" bellowed Borgor Ghoul-Chewer, "Da bloody whip will want to charge us all for them 'oles your making!"  Ignoring his captain for a moment Krank threw another big punch at the wall sending a shower of plaster into the air.  "I'se bleeding 'ates Elves!", he shouted.  An Orc was rightfully proud of his name and Krank was no exception.  His Father, his Grandfather and his Great-Grandfather had all been Elf-Splitters.  It was a long and distinguished line of Elf-Splitters for whom the art of splitting Elves was something that had been honed over the years with each successive generation carrying on the tradition.  Facing High Elves in the 4th game of the season was something he had been looking forward to for weeks.  "I knowze ya do", replied Borgor, "now stop punching the f'ing wall and save something for the game, we'se gotz a job ta do!".  Borgor stood and, with the team following behind him, he stepped out of the dressing room and made for the pitch.

The first half was a violent affair.  Orcs, urged on by their fans, smashed the Elves wherever they could.  Elves were being stunned all over the pitch but the casualty box remained empty.  "Hit 'em 'arder!", screamed Krank above the din of the game, "Hit 'em until they stop moving!".  Hearing this, Kruugash  Neck-Snapper launched himself at the Elf Catcher, Speedy Tyrion, who had wandered a bit too close to the sidelines.  Kruugash caught him with a huge right hand, sending the Elf spinning off of the pitch and into the waiting embrace of the Gouged Eye fans.  With cheers and shouts the crowd set about the unfortunate Elf and when the dust settled down his lifeless body was lying broken on the ground.  The Apothecary for the Elves was soon on the scene and with judicious use of the magic sponge, the Elf stumbled to his feet and trooped off to the Reserve box.  he would play again!

The Elves were pushed further back and the pressure was showing.  Orcs were tackling Elves down whenever they tried to dodge away, another player was pushed into the crowd - mercifully into his own fans who simply helped him to his feet - and the ball was constantly being knocked loose.  With seconds ticking away in the first half the ball was on the ground surrounded by four Orcs and most of the Elves were also on the ground and marked by yet more Orcs.  The Elf catcher, Achilles, climbed up off the ground and dodged away from his marker before pushing himself to his limit to get into the Orc endzone.  He turned and saw Will McScore also drag himself to his feet and dodge away from the attention of the Orc covering him.  He ran as far as he could and then went to the very edge of his endurance as he leaped into the middle of the four Orcs covering the ball and, evading every hand trying to grab him, scooped the ball up and launched it down to Achilles in the end zone who made the catch look easy**.  The Orcs were visibly deflated as the jubilant Elves hugged and kissed each other in celebration of the score.  1-0 and the 1st half came to an end.

The second half saw the Orcs receive the ball and after a successful pass from Osgar, they caged up just inside the Elf half.  What followed was a sustained period of brutal Blood Bowl and the Elves came to regret angering the Orcs by scoring in the first half.  Several players were knocked out cold and carried from the pitch whilst 2 more were Badly Hurt and played no further part in the game.  Will McScore paid for his impudence in the first half when he was knocked to the ground before being surrounded by Orcs and fouled off of the pitch.  The referee, knowing he had a family feed and that they would struggle should any harm come to him, wisely made sure he was looking in the opposite direction when the foul was thrown.  As the half came to a close the Elves desperate defence faltered when a clearly exhausted Speedy Tyrion pushed hiself to far in an effort to get back and fell flat on his face.  The Orcs knocked down an Elf Lineman which cleared the way for Borgor Ghoul-Chewer to finally run the ball over the line for the equalising score.

It had been a tough game, hard fought by both sides and a draw was considered by many to be a fair result.  The Gouged Eye move on and with Match winnings from this game allowing them to purchase a Troll to add weight to the Front Line, they're eagerly awaiting the next game in the season.

**For those that like actual numbers, this whole sequence of events in the game went:

2+ Dodge
2+ GFI
2+ GFI
2+ Dodge
2+ GFI
3+ Leap
6+ Pick up
6+ Throw
2+ Catch (he actually rolled a third successive 6, just to rub it in)

and all without a team reroll.  Apparently, 0.62% chance of success.  It was a sight to behold and had I not been playing against it I would have cheered for it was beautiful.